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We woke up this morning to a YUUUUGE potential leak. Maybe. I mean, it's not like most regular franchises aren't in development at some point. So really, this is just probably confirming what we already know, right? Does this kind of news even get you off anymore, or do you need the hard stuff? The real game juice? Screenshots. Dev diaries. Hard, long, wet code. 

Regardless, I'm more excited for the next Elder Scrolls OFFLINE game...

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2016-03-09_Fallout_5_CONFIRMED_-_Dude_Soup_Podcast_60_[IFjJWLE96sk].description

2016-03-09_Fallout_5_CONFIRMED_-_Dude_Soup_Podcast_60_[IFjJWLE96sk].info.json

2016-03-09_Fallout_5_CONFIRMED_-_Dude_Soup_Podcast_60_[IFjJWLE96sk].jpg

2016-03-09_Fallout_5_CONFIRMED_-_Dude_Soup_Podcast_60_[IFjJWLE96sk].webm

Fallout 5 CONFIRMED? - Dude Soup Podcast #60

Ask us questions here!
http://www.reddit.com/r/funhaus

Our new office setup really makes Open Haus much better, wouldn't you say. We're sitting in a big circle. A donut, if you will, all facing inward. Constantly looking at each other, into each others' eyes, all day. The souls of all are bared to all, no secrets are hidden, and trust is the currency of our love. When I look across the chasm of the donut and I can see Lawrence intently gazing at me, I know we are one. And when James locks eyes with Bruce, I know why they married each other. This office was meant to be. We inhabit the same mindspace, sharing intimate thoughts. Working as one. Living as one. Forever in eternity.

So yeah, the desks are really helping out Open Haus.

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2016-03-08_Funhaus_SEX_TIPS_-_Open_Haus_55_[O4_3bLgR66c].description

2016-03-08_Funhaus_SEX_TIPS_-_Open_Haus_55_[O4_3bLgR66c].info.json

2016-03-08_Funhaus_SEX_TIPS_-_Open_Haus_55_[O4_3bLgR66c].jpg

2016-03-08_Funhaus_SEX_TIPS_-_Open_Haus_55_[O4_3bLgR66c].webm

Funhaus SEX TIPS? - Open Haus #55

American McGee's Alice
Bolivian Gutierrez's Pilar
Colombian Moreno's Sofia
Danish Andersen's Agnethe
Equadorian Ruiz's Josefina
Finnish Jarvi's Indrid
German Fleischer's Helga
Hungarian Hermel's Erzsebet
Indian Chaudhary's Parvati
Japanese Hayashi's Kiki
Kenyan Kiplimo's Abuya
Lithuanian Lutkus' Irena
Moroccan...

Fuck it, I'm tired of this joke 

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2016-03-07_RACIST_HITMAN_-_Demo_Disk_Gameplay_[xcLSAohGU2w].description

2016-03-07_RACIST_HITMAN_-_Demo_Disk_Gameplay_[xcLSAohGU2w].info.json

2016-03-07_RACIST_HITMAN_-_Demo_Disk_Gameplay_[xcLSAohGU2w].jpg

2016-03-07_RACIST_HITMAN_-_Demo_Disk_Gameplay_[xcLSAohGU2w].webm

RACIST HITMAN - Demo Disk Gameplay

SUPERHOT
SUPERHOT
WHERE'S MY PISTOL
SUPERHOT

SUPERHOT
SUPERHOT
DODGE THE BULLETS
SUPERHOT

SUPERHOT
SUPERHOT
OMARCITO
SUPERHOT

SUPERHOT
SUPERHOT
NOTHING FUNNY
SUPERHOT

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2016-03-06_THIS_VIDEO_IS_NOT_FUNNY_-_SUPERHOT_Gameplay_[8INBoyoIr7E].description

2016-03-06_THIS_VIDEO_IS_NOT_FUNNY_-_SUPERHOT_Gameplay_[8INBoyoIr7E].en.vtt

2016-03-06_THIS_VIDEO_IS_NOT_FUNNY_-_SUPERHOT_Gameplay_[8INBoyoIr7E].info.json

2016-03-06_THIS_VIDEO_IS_NOT_FUNNY_-_SUPERHOT_Gameplay_[8INBoyoIr7E].jpg

2016-03-06_THIS_VIDEO_IS_NOT_FUNNY_-_SUPERHOT_Gameplay_[8INBoyoIr7E].webm

THIS VIDEO IS NOT FUNNY - SUPERHOT Gameplay

Edited by CaptainPajamaPants
Please check out and support his channel!
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Look, we get it. You're all busy people. You got stuff to do. Errands to run. Games to play. Liquor to drink. You don't have time to watch every single one of our videos (even though let's be honest you should). 

So Our Close and Personal Friend CaptainPajamaPants put together this lil' Best Of Video for February, for all you lazy types who can't be bothered to sign into YouTube and WATCH OUR ACTUAL VIDEOS WE WORK SO HARD TO PLEASE YOU WITH, DAD.

What? Sorry. No idea what happened there.

Anyway, enjoy!

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2016-03-05_BEST_OF_VIN_DIESEL_-_Best_of_Funhaus_February_2016_[yjrEwROlJJ8].description

2016-03-05_BEST_OF_VIN_DIESEL_-_Best_of_Funhaus_February_2016_[yjrEwROlJJ8].info.json

2016-03-05_BEST_OF_VIN_DIESEL_-_Best_of_Funhaus_February_2016_[yjrEwROlJJ8].jpg

2016-03-05_BEST_OF_VIN_DIESEL_-_Best_of_Funhaus_February_2016_[yjrEwROlJJ8].webm

BEST OF VIN DIESEL - Best of Funhaus February 2016

Ok, so this episode is like a week late, but that's because of all the KICKASS MOTHERKICKING ACTION. DID YOU SEE THOSE KICKS? DID YOU SEE THOSE DINOSAURS? DID YOU SEE. THOSE. BABIES!? ACTIONBABIES!!!

Maybe we'll be on schedule for next month. Or maybe. Just maybe. This show has reached a whole new level and we need to outdo ourselves yet again.

Only time will tell.

Animation: : Andy Jocevicius https://twitter.com/yosavages
Sound Design: Martynas Jocevicius https://twitter.com/oakowlrecords
Animation Support :  Alycia Besche https://twitter.com/AlyciaShady

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2016-03-05_THE_PERFECT_WEAPON_-_Funhaus_Cartoons_[eQHWJ2U2Z8w].description

2016-03-05_THE_PERFECT_WEAPON_-_Funhaus_Cartoons_[eQHWJ2U2Z8w].info.json

2016-03-05_THE_PERFECT_WEAPON_-_Funhaus_Cartoons_[eQHWJ2U2Z8w].jpg

2016-03-05_THE_PERFECT_WEAPON_-_Funhaus_Cartoons_[eQHWJ2U2Z8w].webm

THE PERFECT WEAPON - Funhaus Cartoons

The triumphant return of -- (What? Not triumphant at all? Ok, I'll try again)
The inevitable retu -- (Huh? Oh, right, we weren't sure we were going to bring it back. Once more from the top)
The classic Funhaus Comments Show is back and better than -- (Ok, fair enough - it's not "classic". And you're right, let's not promise that it's better. Gimme another take)
Funhaus Comdants is -- (Haha, that one was my bad. Again)
Funhaus Comments has finally returned! (How was that? Good enough? Ok, I'm going home. Make the check payable to Joel's Voiceover Agency LLC)

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2016-03-04_YOU_RE_STILL_STUPID_-_Funhaus_Comments_8_[ptRna7wil3Q].description

2016-03-04_YOU_RE_STILL_STUPID_-_Funhaus_Comments_8_[ptRna7wil3Q].info.json

2016-03-04_YOU_RE_STILL_STUPID_-_Funhaus_Comments_8_[ptRna7wil3Q].jpg

2016-03-04_YOU_RE_STILL_STUPID_-_Funhaus_Comments_8_[ptRna7wil3Q].webm

YOU'RE STILL STUPID - Funhaus Comments #8

Goodbye sweet Gore. You'll be with us forever. Your skeletons. Your pizzas. And yes, even your unexpected porn. It's been a wonderful journey together.

Oh wait no, you suck see ya.

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2016-03-04_GORE_TO_HELL_-_Gore_Gameplay_Part_5_[rJyDuiL70is].description

2016-03-04_GORE_TO_HELL_-_Gore_Gameplay_Part_5_[rJyDuiL70is].info.json

2016-03-04_GORE_TO_HELL_-_Gore_Gameplay_Part_5_[rJyDuiL70is].jpg

2016-03-04_GORE_TO_HELL_-_Gore_Gameplay_Part_5_[rJyDuiL70is].webm

GORE TO HELL - Gore Gameplay, Part 5

My name is Jamesius Brucius Kovicius, commander of the Armies of the Haus, General of the Rooster Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Burnius Burnsius. Coworker to a hammered bud, dudebro to a molotov'd whatever. And I will have my kill streak, in this life or the next.

Gladiator's Arena: http://socialclub.rockstargames.com/games/gtav/pc/jobs/job/mW9Tn0jMtUeDSi88oYUjHw#

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2016-03-03_GLADIATOR_GRAB-ASS_-_GTA_5_Gameplay_[Ga1Bnc8sxcI].description

2016-03-03_GLADIATOR_GRAB-ASS_-_GTA_5_Gameplay_[Ga1Bnc8sxcI].info.json

2016-03-03_GLADIATOR_GRAB-ASS_-_GTA_5_Gameplay_[Ga1Bnc8sxcI].jpg

2016-03-03_GLADIATOR_GRAB-ASS_-_GTA_5_Gameplay_[Ga1Bnc8sxcI].webm

GLADIATOR GRAB-ASS - GTA 5 Gameplay

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10,000 years ago our earliest ancestors spun stories by their cookfires. Tales of gods in nature, of survival, of how the world came to be. Their stories were passed down through the generations, and mythology was born.

5,000 years ago writing developed, and many of these stories were written down for the first time. Even more stories were invented; cultures arose around those stories. Cities grew, and history began to be recorded.

2,000 years ago the early oral and written traditions had evolved and heightened. Epic poetry told of gods and kings; immortal comedies and dramas were performed; songs were preserved. We still read these stories today: our society swims in the wake of the ancient Greeks and Romans.

500 years ago the printing press was invented, allowing movable type to reproduce these stories on a massive scale for the very first time. Literacy bloomed and the emerging middle class of Europe began to hunger for more to read. Stories, novels, treatises, essays...even reproductions of ancient works filtered through the world. Operas developed, and musical concerts were the very height of culture.

100 years ago pictures came to life for the first time, stunning groups of people with a new, visual storytelling medium. Crowds flocked to movie theaters, and individual writers and actors became world-famous overnight. Sound was incorporated, further enhancing the ability to tell stories. Color film followed a few decades later, and new heights of immersive experiences were born.

20 years ago film began to give way to digital media. New effects became possible, as things impossible to see previously became achievable with a few clicks on a computer. Surround sound and three-dimensional projection allowed audiences to experience the greatest stories of any age as if they were actually there.

The entire history of storytelling, from Neanderthals to Nolan, has evolved to its perfect height of perfection:

Gods of Egypt

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2016-03-02_Why_Do_MOVIES_SUCK_-_Dude_Soup_Podcast_59_[9fCoHc9fdAI].description

2016-03-02_Why_Do_MOVIES_SUCK_-_Dude_Soup_Podcast_59_[9fCoHc9fdAI].info.json

2016-03-02_Why_Do_MOVIES_SUCK_-_Dude_Soup_Podcast_59_[9fCoHc9fdAI].jpg

2016-03-02_Why_Do_MOVIES_SUCK_-_Dude_Soup_Podcast_59_[9fCoHc9fdAI].webm

Why Do MOVIES SUCK? - Dude Soup Podcast #59

Ask us questions here!
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So Leo finally won. I guess that's good and all. But honestly I'd have preferred if he lost. First of all, I feel like at this late a date it's a consolation prize for everything he DIDN'T win for. He was WAYYY better in Wolf of Wall Street. 

But second, and more importantly, at this point it's just fucking hilarious. I love that he doesn't win. I love the memes. I love how he pretends he doesn't care. I love watching people freak out about it. And they've taken that away from me, goddammit.

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2016-03-01_How_to_BE_SINGLE_-_Open_Haus_54_[F8ti3--abRw].description

2016-03-01_How_to_BE_SINGLE_-_Open_Haus_54_[F8ti3--abRw].info.json

2016-03-01_How_to_BE_SINGLE_-_Open_Haus_54_[F8ti3--abRw].jpg

2016-03-01_How_to_BE_SINGLE_-_Open_Haus_54_[F8ti3--abRw].webm

How to BE SINGLE? - Open Haus #54

I'm gonna level with you guys here: everyone is going to Austin today. Demo Disk was delivered to us a little late in the afternoon. I'm headed out of town for a wedding. So this description doesn't have anything to do, at all, with the content of the video. Because I just need to write some stuff and get it up online so I can go toast the bride and groom. Happy Monday. 

Are you satisfied?

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2016-02-29_BLACK_COCK_DOWN_-_Demo_Disk_Gameplay_[KJ9wkjL-LQI].description

2016-02-29_BLACK_COCK_DOWN_-_Demo_Disk_Gameplay_[KJ9wkjL-LQI].info.json

2016-02-29_BLACK_COCK_DOWN_-_Demo_Disk_Gameplay_[KJ9wkjL-LQI].jpg

2016-02-29_BLACK_COCK_DOWN_-_Demo_Disk_Gameplay_[KJ9wkjL-LQI].webm

BLACK COCK DOWN - Demo Disk Gameplay

Ah, drift it
Ah, drift it
Ooh baby baby, oooh baby baby
Ooh baby baby, oooh baby baby

Ow Baby! Bruce and Adam's here
Now wait a minute, y'all
This game ain't for everyone
Only the Funhaus people
So all you Fun mothers, get on out there and drift
DRIFT, I said!

Bruce and Adam's here, and we're here with James
Want you to play it, babe
Playing by day then at night, playing lots of games
C'mon bros, let's go show the subs that we know
How to become number one in a hot Wheelhaus show
Now drift it

Ah, drift it - drift it good
Ah, drift it - drift it real good
Ah, drift it - drift it good
Ah, drift it - drift it real good

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2016-02-28_ME_SO_DRIFTY_-_Wheelhaus_Gameplay_[zvn2qVvYKt4].description

2016-02-28_ME_SO_DRIFTY_-_Wheelhaus_Gameplay_[zvn2qVvYKt4].info.json

2016-02-28_ME_SO_DRIFTY_-_Wheelhaus_Gameplay_[zvn2qVvYKt4].jpg

2016-02-28_ME_SO_DRIFTY_-_Wheelhaus_Gameplay_[zvn2qVvYKt4].webm

ME SO DRIFTY - Wheelhaus Gameplay

Fifty nifty United States from thirteen original colonies;
Fifty nifty stars in the flag that billows so beautif'ly in the breeze.
Each individual state contributes a quality that is great.
Each individual state deserves a bow, we salute them now.
Fifty nifty United States from thirteen original colonies,
Shout 'em, scout 'em, Tell all about 'em,
One by one till we've given a day to ev'ry state in the U.S.A.
Alabama, Alaska, Arizoma, Markandaw, Cali-Wali, Color Ado, Connect-4;
Hellaware, Whorida, Gorges, Aloha, Potatoland, Ill & Noise, Mingyana;
I-yi-yi, CanAss, KKKentucky, Loueasymana, Pain, Merrylamb, Assashootshiz, Youchigan;
Fewersota, Sissyssippi, Misery, Mount Anna, Nerdbraska, NeVader;
New Hempshire, Blew Jersey, New Sexico, Jew Dork, Fourth Carolina,
North Dankota, Blowhio, Jokelahoma, Pooregon, Transylvania, Rogue Guyland, Mouth Carolina, South Dankota, Winnesssees, SexAss, Youthaw, Vermouth, Virginass, Washyourmouth, Worst Virginia, Wiscussin', Whyogod

North, south, east, west, in our calm, objective opinion,
Markunalia is the best of the
Fifty nifty United States from thirteen original colonies,
Shout 'em, scout 'em, Tell all about 'em,
One by one till we've given a day to ev'ry state in the good old U. S. A.

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2016-02-27_ELECTION_ERECTION_-_The_Political_Machine_2016_Gameplay_[Rr8IGbWAxBo].description

2016-02-27_ELECTION_ERECTION_-_The_Political_Machine_2016_Gameplay_[Rr8IGbWAxBo].info.json

2016-02-27_ELECTION_ERECTION_-_The_Political_Machine_2016_Gameplay_[Rr8IGbWAxBo].jpg

2016-02-27_ELECTION_ERECTION_-_The_Political_Machine_2016_Gameplay_[Rr8IGbWAxBo].webm

ELECTION ERECTION - The Political Machine 2016 Gameplay

Cornman (ah-ah-ah)
Fighter of the zombies (ah-ah-ah)
Champion of the plants (ah-ah-ah)
You're a master of cornholes
And weiners
In all your pants

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2016-02-26_GET_CORNHOLED_-_Plants_vs._Zombies_Garden_Warfare_2_Gameplay_[qIpouDQlQmU].description

2016-02-26_GET_CORNHOLED_-_Plants_vs._Zombies_Garden_Warfare_2_Gameplay_[qIpouDQlQmU].info.json

2016-02-26_GET_CORNHOLED_-_Plants_vs._Zombies_Garden_Warfare_2_Gameplay_[qIpouDQlQmU].jpg

2016-02-26_GET_CORNHOLED_-_Plants_vs._Zombies_Garden_Warfare_2_Gameplay_[qIpouDQlQmU].webm

GET CORNHOLED - Plants vs. Zombies Garden Warfare 2 Gameplay

After a rousing memorial service for Pal Runner, the whole Fast Gamng gets back together for one final memorial heist. Starring Van Deasal as the Leader, Michael Rodrgerz as his gal pal, uhh Ronda Rousey is in it again, Dwarf "The Rolf" Joelson as Cop Gone Wild, and Tie Reese and RudeaChris and Jordaynne Brewer and Aaron Paul as the Crossover Kid.

This movie's gonna have it all! FFATE or F8 or you know it's gonna have a dumb name, coming Summer 2018.

Super Funz: http://socialclub.rockstargames.com/games/gtav/pc/jobs/job/KYx3btR8gE-h8R06g1LfIA#

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2016-02-25_FAST_AND_FURIOUS_8_-_GTA_5_Gameplay_[7hipGpeXPFE].description

2016-02-25_FAST_AND_FURIOUS_8_-_GTA_5_Gameplay_[7hipGpeXPFE].info.json

2016-02-25_FAST_AND_FURIOUS_8_-_GTA_5_Gameplay_[7hipGpeXPFE].jpg

2016-02-25_FAST_AND_FURIOUS_8_-_GTA_5_Gameplay_[7hipGpeXPFE].webm

FAST AND FURIOUS 8 - GTA 5 Gameplay

Thanks Lenovo Gaming and GameState for sponsoring this podcast! Head straight to http://lnv.gy/1Q9CpqS to create the Ultimate Ability for the Grand Marshal in Mission 4: Rain Down Her Wrath.
Also, Kit Kats are delicious. Trust.

The worst birthday I went to was this guy's from my elementary school. Every year he threw a party in the park by his house. He was pretty popular and athletic, so each year there'd be a football game everyone would play, and then a baseball game, and then finally they'd make a campfire and we'd make smores and roast hot dogs. After the second year, I stopped playing Sports and just concentrated on helping his mom build the fire. 

So while all the kids were being cool and playing games, I hung out with his mom every year for like 2 hours. She was really nice, but she probably thought "What the fuck is wrong with this wiener kid? Why would he rather hang out with a 40 year old woman than play cool football with my handsome son?"

And I knew it. I knew it was lame. But even then, I was aware that attempting to play football would be worse. If they saw how I tried to catch a football, or throw a baseball, that would be far, far more damaging. So every year, from 1st to 7th grade, I helped this poor woman build a fire and lay out all the snacks.

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2016-02-24_WORST_BIRTHDAYS_EVER_-_Dude_Soup_Podcast_58_[CP9wn3EHidY].description

2016-02-24_WORST_BIRTHDAYS_EVER_-_Dude_Soup_Podcast_58_[CP9wn3EHidY].info.json

2016-02-24_WORST_BIRTHDAYS_EVER_-_Dude_Soup_Podcast_58_[CP9wn3EHidY].jpg

2016-02-24_WORST_BIRTHDAYS_EVER_-_Dude_Soup_Podcast_58_[CP9wn3EHidY].webm

WORST BIRTHDAYS EVER - Dude Soup Podcast #58

False question. The real question is HOW are girls? And the answer varies. Sometimes well. Sometimes sick. Sometimes hot, sometimes cold depending on the weather. Sometimes girls are happy and they're just as often sad. 

The important thing to remember is that girls are just like you and me. Don't be afraid of them. Show them the same respect you'd show your best mate, or your mother who -- believe it or not -- is a girl! Remember that girls are people and girls will treat you like people, too!

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2016-02-23_WHY_ARE_GIRLS_-_Open_Haus_53_[jWfTRWhptkw].description

2016-02-23_WHY_ARE_GIRLS_-_Open_Haus_53_[jWfTRWhptkw].info.json

2016-02-23_WHY_ARE_GIRLS_-_Open_Haus_53_[jWfTRWhptkw].jpg

2016-02-23_WHY_ARE_GIRLS_-_Open_Haus_53_[jWfTRWhptkw].webm

WHY ARE GIRLS? - Open Haus #53

Harry walked through the magical halls of Hogwarts, confused as always by his Charms class. But he had bigger problems: Voldemort had emailed an owl saying he was going to kill Harry tomorrow! So Harry assembled Dumbledore's Army. "We have to find the final Horcrux, guys, and destroy it! Or else Voldemort is gonna come kill us all!"

Hermione stepped forward. "Harry, I know what the final Horcrux is, but I'm scared." "Don't be scared, Hermy," Harry said. "Whatever it is, we can help."

"Well...Harry, the final Horcrux is your penis." 

"Ok everyone! You heard Heroine! We have to find out how to get this Horcrux out of my penis. I don't care if it takes all night!"

Several hours later Filch was called to clean up the mess, and 7 students were expelled.

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2016-02-22_HAIRY_POOTER_-_Demo_Disk_Gameplay_[RLrLUXFmQKI].description

2016-02-22_HAIRY_POOTER_-_Demo_Disk_Gameplay_[RLrLUXFmQKI].info.json

2016-02-22_HAIRY_POOTER_-_Demo_Disk_Gameplay_[RLrLUXFmQKI].jpg

2016-02-22_HAIRY_POOTER_-_Demo_Disk_Gameplay_[RLrLUXFmQKI].webm

HAIRY POOTER - Demo Disk Gameplay

This is a continuation of the story begun in the description of this video (http://bit.ly/1PQUPPs) and continued here (http://bit.ly/1LYeDdD and http://bit.ly/1CJACFa and http://bit.ly/1MBTcC7 and http://bit.ly/1lXyClq and http://bit.ly/1P9hWCF and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VBAK9YP0k8)

The Boy turned to the Courtesan. “Let’s have one more round.” “I was hoping you’d say that. I have something to show you…”

She reached deep into her bodice, jostling her jangly bits. The Boy stared. He didn’t want to stare but he couldn’t NOT stare. His eyes wouldn’t let him not stare. She wiggled a bit, her arm going in deeper until suddenly -- she whipped her arm out, triumphantly holding a crystal flask filled with an amber liquid. “I swiped it when we were at Kestorhouse. I have no idea what’s in it.”

The Boy smiled at her and replied, “Let’s find out!”

They extricated themselves from the other members of Pepperpots, making their excuses to their new friends, and wandered down the slowly quieting streets. The Lampwright’s Guild had already come, so the cobblestones were imbued with a hazy, golden reflective glow. Through the wends and winds, the alleys and closes of The University. They found a small bridge over a one of the canals that led from the river and sat down on the balustrade.

The cork came out of the flask with a satisfying SQUEEKNPOP. They each took a sniff. The Courtesan offered the flask to The Boy, who demurred: “Ladies first.” “Ahh,” she replied, “But I’m no lady!” She tipped the flask into his mouth; he took a deep sip, and she followed.

The taste was summer sunshine in a bottle. They wanted more.

Soon, the flask was empty and their heads were spinning. “What do you think it was?” The Courtesan asked. “I have no idea! I’d never had BEER before this week!” The Boy threw the flask in the canal and watched it bob away. They laughed, and started guessing liquors they’d heard of: Simmer, or Brandy, or Akkavit. Usquebaugh, or Jinniver, or Ojen. The Courtesan was much better at this game, since she’d spent time amongst the gentry. 

“Alright alright! I give up!” The Boy cried. “You obviously know more than I do. You know more about EVERYTHING than I do! You’ve seen so much!”

“Yes,” The Courtesan replied, suddenly serious. “I’ve seen much. Too much.” “Could YOU teach me?” She looked at him for a long moment. “You don’t want to know much of what I know.” 

The Boy didn’t know what to say to that. They sat in silence for a while. She sighed. “Let’s just go home.”

They carefully - carefully - climbed down from the balustrade, not wanting to fall into the canal, and began retracing their steps back to Pepperpots. The Boy didn’t know what had gone wrong. One moment they were joking and laughing, the next she had just...changed. If only his head weren’t so fuzzy from the flask, he might be able to find the words to say to her. Instead, they walked in silence.

“Look,” began the Courtesan. “About back there at the bridge. I’m sorry if --” “Don’t worry about it. I’m sorry if --” “It’s ok.” They looked at each other, and the tension broke. Somewhat. At least now, the silence was more comfortable. 

As they rounded the corner from Grovver Alley into the Wyndam Close, The Boy noticed that a few of the lamplights were out. The Close grew dark, and he couldn’t see more than a few dozen spans in front of them. He was just about to suggest they turn around and go another way when something hit him in the side of his head. As he fell to the ground, the world turning black, he heard a single yelp.

Slowly, the world spun back into focus. It was dawn. The stars were going out. And The Courtesan was gone. How long had he been there? What had happened? As he stood up, a piece of paper fell off his chest. He blinked once, twice, three times, rubbed his hands in his eyes to clear his head, and read.

“You took our Founder’s Flask. We took your friend. Bring it tonight, alone, or you won’t get her back.”

The Boy was distraught. The flask was gone, floating through the canals or sunk to the bottom, or maybe even back in The Rashorne River at this point! He had no idea what to do.

If you want The Boy to alert the police, type “Police” in the comments
If you want The Boy to enlist his friends for help, type “Friends” in the comments
If you want The Boy to work along, type “Alone” in the comments

This story will continue if One Dollar One Hour continues…

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2016-02-21_DINOSAURS_VS_NAZIS_-_1_Dollar_1_Hour_Gameplay_[A5bX_Fk00c4].description

2016-02-21_DINOSAURS_VS_NAZIS_-_1_Dollar_1_Hour_Gameplay_[A5bX_Fk00c4].info.json

2016-02-21_DINOSAURS_VS_NAZIS_-_1_Dollar_1_Hour_Gameplay_[A5bX_Fk00c4].jpg

2016-02-21_DINOSAURS_VS_NAZIS_-_1_Dollar_1_Hour_Gameplay_[A5bX_Fk00c4].webm

DINOSAURS VS NAZIS - 1 Dollar 1 Hour Gameplay

We got a great big convoy
Drivin' down the road
Yeah we got a great big convoy
Gonna make you take our load
Don't ask what's in our convoy
We're legally unable to say
Cops better ignore our convoy
Or we'll give 'em a BJ
Convoy!

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2016-02-20_TAKE_OUR_LOAD_-_Garbage_Simulator_Gameplay_[KKetSEOdNFk].description

2016-02-20_TAKE_OUR_LOAD_-_Garbage_Simulator_Gameplay_[KKetSEOdNFk].en.vtt

2016-02-20_TAKE_OUR_LOAD_-_Garbage_Simulator_Gameplay_[KKetSEOdNFk].info.json

2016-02-20_TAKE_OUR_LOAD_-_Garbage_Simulator_Gameplay_[KKetSEOdNFk].jpg

2016-02-20_TAKE_OUR_LOAD_-_Garbage_Simulator_Gameplay_[KKetSEOdNFk].webm

TAKE OUR LOAD - Garbage Simulator Gameplay

Fodesinbeed Annodue walked into their house in the suburbs of Mos Espa - Sandy Dune Estates - and hung up their coat. It had been a long day...one of the longest they'd known. 

The day had started promisingly enough, with a record crowds expected for the event. Boonta's Eve always brought out the entire city, and even the Hutts were going to be there. Plus, Sebulba was in the race. You either loved him or you hated him, but you couldn't deny that he was the best podracer in the entire system. And you always wanted to see what he would do next. Luckily, Fodesinbeed were the best Pod Racing announcers this side of the Outer Rim.

The race started as usual, with Fode announcing in Basic and Beed jabbering in Huttese. That made sense, even though only a handful of people spoke the damn language: they knew who wrote their checks. But then, out of nowhere, that damn Skywalker slave kid starts passing up all the racers. First it was Ben Quadinaros, then Ody Mandrell fell behind. Fode thought for sure that Wan Sandage would stick it to him, but once Skywalker pulled even with Sebulba, even Beed was getting antsy.

That last lap was the worst, watching him come in first. Who cares if the kid wasn't a slave anymore? Fodesinbeed had put good money on Sebulba through the Hutts, and they'd lost. Lost big. It would be time to pay up soon, and the Hutts weren't known for their...leniency.

There was a knock at the door. They heard a deep, low, long laugh. And they knew Jabba was there to collect.

Podracing 
http://www.forgehub.com/maps/star-wars-podracer-boonta-eve.1469/

Hunger Games 
http://www.forgehub.com/maps/the-hunger-games.1377/

MAP: They spin me right round
Created by UnknownEmerald

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2016-02-19_Halo_5_PODRACING_-_Custom_Forge_Map_Gameplay_[3xszWt7K6_4].description

2016-02-19_Halo_5_PODRACING_-_Custom_Forge_Map_Gameplay_[3xszWt7K6_4].en.vtt

2016-02-19_Halo_5_PODRACING_-_Custom_Forge_Map_Gameplay_[3xszWt7K6_4].info.json

2016-02-19_Halo_5_PODRACING_-_Custom_Forge_Map_Gameplay_[3xszWt7K6_4].jpg

2016-02-19_Halo_5_PODRACING_-_Custom_Forge_Map_Gameplay_[3xszWt7K6_4].webm

Halo 5 PODRACING! - Custom Forge Map Gameplay

What happens when an ordinary man is forced to broker peace between two warring sides of a floating boxcar/turbine platform in Los Santos? Find out this holiday season in Bridge of Death, starring Tom Hanks and directed by Stoven Spooleberg.

Deathmatch: http://socialclub.rockstargames.com/games/gtav/pc/jobs/job/ZWSZTEHy_0Gbzku-LfcTSw#

Read more: Simon And Garfunkel - Bridge Over Troubled Water Lyrics | MetroLyrics 
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2016-02-18_BRIDGE_OF_DEATH_-_GTA_5_Gameplay_[HAov88xPNfM].description

2016-02-18_BRIDGE_OF_DEATH_-_GTA_5_Gameplay_[HAov88xPNfM].en.vtt

2016-02-18_BRIDGE_OF_DEATH_-_GTA_5_Gameplay_[HAov88xPNfM].info.json

2016-02-18_BRIDGE_OF_DEATH_-_GTA_5_Gameplay_[HAov88xPNfM].jpg

2016-02-18_BRIDGE_OF_DEATH_-_GTA_5_Gameplay_[HAov88xPNfM].webm

BRIDGE OF DEATH - GTA 5 Gameplay

Visit our sponsor, Squarespace! http://www.squarespace.com/dudesoup offer code: "DUDESOUP"

Hey! You! viewer of Dude Soup. Or, uh...Dude Souper? Souper hero? I dunno, this is fucking dumb. Anyway, Joel wanted to try and write this goddamn description in a meta-Deadpool kinda voice thing. Honestly, I don't think he's quite got it down, but I guess he is following the Three Most Important Rules of Deadpool:
1) Break the 4th Wall, Early and Often
2) Curse. A Lot
3) Gratuitous Gore and Blood. Well, I guess since this is a video description, it's hard to show that. But hey, at least this part of Rule #3 reinforces Rule #1, huh?

Whatever. Enjoy the podcast, ya dipshits.

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2016-02-17_DEADPOOL-RELATED_TITLE_-_Dude_Soup_Podcast_57_[0yz3HYmLlK8].description

2016-02-17_DEADPOOL-RELATED_TITLE_-_Dude_Soup_Podcast_57_[0yz3HYmLlK8].info.json

2016-02-17_DEADPOOL-RELATED_TITLE_-_Dude_Soup_Podcast_57_[0yz3HYmLlK8].jpg

2016-02-17_DEADPOOL-RELATED_TITLE_-_Dude_Soup_Podcast_57_[0yz3HYmLlK8].webm

[DEADPOOL-RELATED TITLE] - Dude Soup Podcast #57