In this episode, when the boys take a team trip to the desert, they discover a secret which could tear them apart. Will Adam ever reverse that gypsy curse? When did Bruce get that rash? Where did James go during those crucial 4 1/2 hours?

Can Lawrence get his glasses back from the sasquatch? Is Spoole STILL snapchatting? Who's Joel bunking with tonight? And will Peake ever chill out?

Find out on this week's episode of This Sketch Show Doesn't Have a Name Yet!

Follow us on Twitter: 
http://twitter.com/adamkovic
http://twitter.com/brucegreene
http://twitter.com/jameswillems
http://twitter.com/sirlarr
http://twitter.com/JoelRubin_
http://twitter.com/seanpoole
http://twitter.com/mattseditbay

Tshirts n stuff: https://store.roosterteeth.com/

2015-07-19_WE_GO_TOPLESS_-_Funhaus_Shorts_[XINJ01M2Tzw].description

2015-07-19_WE_GO_TOPLESS_-_Funhaus_Shorts_[XINJ01M2Tzw].en.vtt

2015-07-19_WE_GO_TOPLESS_-_Funhaus_Shorts_[XINJ01M2Tzw].info.json

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2015-07-19_WE_GO_TOPLESS_-_Funhaus_Shorts_[XINJ01M2Tzw].webm

WE GO TOPLESS - Funhaus Shorts

Papa Joel is on vacation for about 7 weeks, so guess who's writing descriptions?!? NOBODY. Welcome to the new age. To the new age. To the new age.

It's an age of no poetry. No song lyrics. No choose your own adventure. Only dry, boring descriptions like this one:

Wheelhaus is a website. http://www.thewheelhaus.com

Follow us on Twitter: 
http://twitter.com/adamkovic
http://twitter.com/brucegreene
http://twitter.com/jameswillems

Tshirts n stuff: https://store.roosterteeth.com/

2015-07-18_HOT_CHICKS_UGLY_DUDES_-_Wheelhaus_Gameplay_[0QVUDjM9Lkg].description

2015-07-18_HOT_CHICKS_UGLY_DUDES_-_Wheelhaus_Gameplay_[0QVUDjM9Lkg].info.json

2015-07-18_HOT_CHICKS_UGLY_DUDES_-_Wheelhaus_Gameplay_[0QVUDjM9Lkg].jpg

2015-07-18_HOT_CHICKS_UGLY_DUDES_-_Wheelhaus_Gameplay_[0QVUDjM9Lkg].webm

HOT CHICKS & UGLY DUDES - Wheelhaus Gameplay

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! SHEEEEEENNNNMUEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! AAAAAAAHHH!

Ah! AH! AHH! AH AHA HA AHA AAAAHAHAHAH!!! KICKSTARRRRRT! YEAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!! AHHHH!!!

OOOOHHHH MYYY GOOOOOOOOOOD!!!! HAAAAAA! AAAAH!!!!! BELIEEEVEEEEE!!

YEEEEESSSS AHAAAAA SO GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!

$60 please.

Follow us on Twitter: 
http://twitter.com/adamkovic
http://twitter.com/brucegreene
http://twitter.com/jameswillems
http://twitter.com/sirlarr

Tshirts n stuff: https://store.roosterteeth.com/

2015-07-17_GREATEST_GAME_EVER_MADE_-_Shenmue_Gameplay_[3sZv_LC3548].description

2015-07-17_GREATEST_GAME_EVER_MADE_-_Shenmue_Gameplay_[3sZv_LC3548].info.json

2015-07-17_GREATEST_GAME_EVER_MADE_-_Shenmue_Gameplay_[3sZv_LC3548].jpg

2015-07-17_GREATEST_GAME_EVER_MADE_-_Shenmue_Gameplay_[3sZv_LC3548].webm

GREATEST GAME EVER MADE - Shenmue Gameplay

This is a video. You may be thinking to yourself "I've seen this shit before, this is a double upload."

Well, first of all, tone down the language, potty-mouth. Second: this is the full VoD of the livestream that we then cut down and uploaded a few days ago. This is the full load. Raw and uncut. You know what I mean...before we edit out all the not-funny shit.

Whatever, you guys wanted this - we only do what you tell us to do. 

So enjoy this look behind the scenes, or livestream VoD, or  something.  KISSES!!!!

Follow us on Twitter: 
http://twitter.com/adamkovic
http://twitter.com/brucegreene
http://twitter.com/jameswillems

Tshirts n stuff: https://store.roosterteeth.com/

2015-07-17_Demo_Disk_LIVE_2_[ySSQEJGHbNc].description

2015-07-17_Demo_Disk_LIVE_2_[ySSQEJGHbNc].info.json

2015-07-17_Demo_Disk_LIVE_2_[ySSQEJGHbNc].jpg

2015-07-17_Demo_Disk_LIVE_2_[ySSQEJGHbNc].webm

Demo Disk LIVE #2

Hey baby! Let's go down to the big State Fair this weekend! It'll be fun - there'll be corndogs and deep fried oreos, and a livestock competition, and all kinds of rides! They'll have a Ferris Wheel, and a Gravitron, and a Tunnel of Death!

No, you didn't mishear me. I said a Tunnel of Death!

No, no nononono. I don't want YOU to die, necessarily. It's just a fun ride, it's a name! Like, when you go into a Bounce Castle, it's not an actual castle. A Bounce King doesn't reign supreme there as the monarch of a tiny kingdom. The Pirate Ship isn't manned by 18th Century scurvy-ridden terrors of the seven seas!

So don't even worry about it. Sure, it's soundproof, and you have a sign a waiver releasing the State Fair of all liability. I guess you have a point there. But come on, it'll be FUN! You LOVED the Orbiter, and it's not like we went to space!

Look: I absolutely, positively guarantee that you will not die in the Tunnel of Death. 

Probably.

[Deathmatch] Dodgeball 1.0: http://socialclub.rockstargames.com/games/gtav/jobs/job/CDqbxyDFLUS2oO5xbrkL1Q

Follow us on Twitter: 
http://twitter.com/adamkovic
http://twitter.com/brucegreene
http://twitter.com/jameswillems
http://twitter.com/sirlarr

Tshirts n stuff: https://store.roosterteeth.com/

2015-07-16_TUNNEL_OF_DEATH_-_GTA_5_Gameplay_[ClNZw12QTjs].description

2015-07-16_TUNNEL_OF_DEATH_-_GTA_5_Gameplay_[ClNZw12QTjs].info.json

2015-07-16_TUNNEL_OF_DEATH_-_GTA_5_Gameplay_[ClNZw12QTjs].jpg

2015-07-16_TUNNEL_OF_DEATH_-_GTA_5_Gameplay_[ClNZw12QTjs].webm

TUNNEL OF DEATH - GTA 5 Gameplay

So we've been in our office for a little less than a week now, but I think this is the first video we've uploaded to the channel where we're IN THE NEW OFFICE.

What do you think? It's WAY bigger than our last 2, and it's awesome for us to all be in the same room. That way, Spoole and Joel can just shout out shit while the rest of the idiots talk. And Peake can stay in the back, quietly working, as always.

Anyway. Let us know what you think of the setup - if you have any suggestions to make it better, or if it's too confusing, or something. I dunno. You're the audience, we're the video-making-dudes.

Follow us on Twitter: 
http://twitter.com/adamkovic
http://twitter.com/brucegreene
http://twitter.com/jameswillems
http://twitter.com/sirlarr
http://twitter.com/harmonygrits

Tshirts n stuff: https://store.roosterteeth.com/

2015-07-15_Batman_v_Superman_-_WILL_IT_SUCK_-_Dude_Soup_Podcast_24_[3GF19BfPaWY].description

2015-07-15_Batman_v_Superman_-_WILL_IT_SUCK_-_Dude_Soup_Podcast_24_[3GF19BfPaWY].info.json

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2015-07-15_Batman_v_Superman_-_WILL_IT_SUCK_-_Dude_Soup_Podcast_24_[3GF19BfPaWY].webm

Batman v Superman: WILL IT SUCK? - Dude Soup Podcast #24

Ask us questions here!
http://www.reddit.com/r/funhaus

So, as some of you know, James usually picks the Open Haus questions. This week it was Bruce - and notice that the questions are PREEEETTY much about the same.

That's because James has a formula for how to choose questions for the show. If you follow his rules, you'll DEFINITELY increase your chances of getting chosen.

1) Never choose a question that begins with the word "If..."
2) Omit anything with references to old characters or shows
3) Doesn't hurt to have a Psychonauts reference
4) If your username sounds like a cute girl, +35% chance
5) Prioritize anything that allows James to show those beautiful baby blues on camera
6) Don't make your Game of Thrones question TOO meta, but don't make it sincere either
7) Try not to use the phrase "The Duke's undercroft" in your questions. That's James' trigger
8) You do not talk about Fight Club.
9) Long, drawn out questions WILL be changed when we record
10) Choose usernames Adam will mispronounce

Follow these steps and you too can be on Open Haus!

Follow us on Twitter: 
http://twitter.com/adamkovic
http://twitter.com/brucegreene
http://twitter.com/jameswillems
http://twitter.com/JoelRubin_

Tshirts n stuff: https://store.roosterteeth.com/

2015-07-14_BEST_FARTS_-_Open_Haus_22_[Yw6l8ZAx02w].description

2015-07-14_BEST_FARTS_-_Open_Haus_22_[Yw6l8ZAx02w].es-419.vtt

2015-07-14_BEST_FARTS_-_Open_Haus_22_[Yw6l8ZAx02w].info.json

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2015-07-14_BEST_FARTS_-_Open_Haus_22_[Yw6l8ZAx02w].webm

BEST FARTS? - Open Haus #22

James "Buffalo Willems" Willems: It puts the demo on its disc. It does this whenever it is told. 

Bruce: Mister... my family will play games. Whatever games you're askin' for, they play it. 

James: It rubs the demo on its disc or else it gets a body frisk. 
[to his dog, Benson] 
James: Yes, it will, Benson, won't it? It will get the frisk! 

Bruce: Okay... okay... okay. Mister, if you let me go, I won't - I won't upload the video, I promise. See, Adam is a real important woman... I guess you already know that. 

James: Now it places the disc in the drive. 

Bruce: Please! Please I wanna go home! I wanna go home please! 

James: It places the disc in the drive. 

Bruce: I wanna see my Adam! Please I wanna see my... 

James: Put the fucking disc in the drive! 

Follow us on Twitter: 
http://twitter.com/adamkovic
http://twitter.com/brucegreene
http://twitter.com/jameswillems
http://twitter.com/sirlarr

Tshirts n stuff: https://store.roosterteeth.com/

2015-07-13_FOUL_BALLS_-_Demo_Disk_Gameplay_[QLMnYhOhOVA].description

2015-07-13_FOUL_BALLS_-_Demo_Disk_Gameplay_[QLMnYhOhOVA].info.json

2015-07-13_FOUL_BALLS_-_Demo_Disk_Gameplay_[QLMnYhOhOVA].jpg

2015-07-13_FOUL_BALLS_-_Demo_Disk_Gameplay_[QLMnYhOhOVA].webm

FOUL BALLS - Demo Disk Gameplay

This is a video. You may be thinking to yourself "I've seen this shit before, this is a double upload."

Well, first of all, tone down the language, potty-mouth. Second: this is the full VoD of the livestream that we then cut down and uploaded a few days ago. This is the full load. Raw and uncut. You know what I mean...before we edit out all the not-funny shit.

Whatever, you guys wanted this - we only do what you tell us to do. 

So enjoy this look behind the scenes, or livestream VoD, or  something.  KISSES!!!!

Script Hook V + Native Trainer v1.0.350.2a
https://www.gta5-mods.com/tools/script-hook-v
Community Script Hook V .NET
https://www.gta5-mods.com/tools/scripthookv-net
The Hulk
https://www.gta5-mods.com/player/hulk-for-babyd
The Unstoppable Force
https://www.gta5-mods.com/scripts/the-unstoppable-force
Railroad Engineer
https://www.gta5-mods.com/scripts/railroad-engineer
Nice Fly 2.5
https://www.gta5-mods.com/scripts/nice-fly

2015-07-12_GTA_5_Mods_LIVE_with_THE_HULK_[1GbY9afRo00].description

2015-07-12_GTA_5_Mods_LIVE_with_THE_HULK_[1GbY9afRo00].info.json

2015-07-12_GTA_5_Mods_LIVE_with_THE_HULK_[1GbY9afRo00].jpg

2015-07-12_GTA_5_Mods_LIVE_with_THE_HULK_[1GbY9afRo00].webm

GTA 5 Mods LIVE with THE HULK!

http://YouTube.com/AchievementHunter

So the Achievement Hunter boys finally listened to our COOOOOL, good advice and launched their own channel. Just like us.

And then they issued the audience a subscriber challenge. Just like we did when we launched.

And then they got a bunch of sweaty dudes in a room with varying degrees of facial hair to play games. Just like us.

You can see where I'm going with this.

Those guys are nothing but a bunch of COPIERS and FAKERS and BEAUTIFUL, MANLY, HANDSOME JOHNNIES COME LATELY!

So we did the only thing that was fair: we copied them and are now issuing our own challenges.

Follow us on Twitter: 
http://twitter.com/adamkovic
http://twitter.com/brucegreene
http://twitter.com/jameswillems
http://twitter.com/sirlarr

Tshirts n stuff: https://store.roosterteeth.com/

2015-07-12_DON_T_SUBSCRIBE_TO_ACHIEVEMENT_HUNTER_[cE1uwXBpjNo].description

2015-07-12_DON_T_SUBSCRIBE_TO_ACHIEVEMENT_HUNTER_[cE1uwXBpjNo].en.vtt

2015-07-12_DON_T_SUBSCRIBE_TO_ACHIEVEMENT_HUNTER_[cE1uwXBpjNo].info.json

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2015-07-12_DON_T_SUBSCRIBE_TO_ACHIEVEMENT_HUNTER_[cE1uwXBpjNo].webm

DON'T SUBSCRIBE TO ACHIEVEMENT HUNTER

I was going to try and catch you up on the story here, but it's so batshit crazy that it's kind of not worth it. Instead I'm going to recount for you the tale of my Fallout Vault

In the beginning, Vault 542 was occupied by just a few people: the First Vaulters. The First Vaulters didn't have much: a small living quarters with a couple of cots, a fairly inefficient generator, some water and food. But what they had was moxie. 

Yes, moxie: that hard-to-define quality that keeps a pep in your step, and gives a goose to your Bruce! With nothing but spit, elbow grease, and a couple of reclaimed BB guns, these First Vaulters dug deep into the mountain, fucked themselves silly to create families, and built an entire underground society. Every few hours, one of them would venture out to the Wastelands, but they all knew that the only safe place was in Vault 542, under the watchful, protective eye of the Overseer.

Their crowning achievement was building a statue to their Overseer. They began to bring him offerings of food, Nuka-Cola, and nubile young females. And the Overseer was pleased. Very pleased. He turned Vault 542 into a pleasure palace, filled with games parlors and bars.

Everyone wanted to come to Vault 542. The Overseer was a god unto them. 

Anyway, something about the Avorngers.

Go watch Robbaz!! https://www.youtube.com/user/Robbaz

Follow us on Twitter: 
http://twitter.com/adamkovic
http://twitter.com/brucegreene
http://twitter.com/jameswillems

Tshirts n stuff: https://store.roosterteeth.com/

2015-07-11_DUMB_AVENGERS_5_-_The_Sims_4_Gameplay_[5h1evq3nhko].description

2015-07-11_DUMB_AVENGERS_5_-_The_Sims_4_Gameplay_[5h1evq3nhko].info.json

2015-07-11_DUMB_AVENGERS_5_-_The_Sims_4_Gameplay_[5h1evq3nhko].jpg

2015-07-11_DUMB_AVENGERS_5_-_The_Sims_4_Gameplay_[5h1evq3nhko].webm

DUMB AVENGERS #5 - The Sims 4 Gameplay

God bless America
Land that's OK
Take our hot dogs
Quite a lot, dawgs
And some guns - we've got tons anyway.

From the hipsters to the yuppies
To the rednecks white as foam
That's our America,
I guess my home

Follow us on Twitter: 
http://twitter.com/adamkovic
http://twitter.com/brucegreene
http://twitter.com/jameswillems
http://twitter.com/sirlarr

Tshirts n stuff: https://store.roosterteeth.com/

2015-07-10_Super_DRUNK_Night_-_FAQ_Podcast_[mhgoKq8XR34].description

2015-07-10_Super_DRUNK_Night_-_FAQ_Podcast_[mhgoKq8XR34].info.json

2015-07-10_Super_DRUNK_Night_-_FAQ_Podcast_[mhgoKq8XR34].jpg

2015-07-10_Super_DRUNK_Night_-_FAQ_Podcast_[mhgoKq8XR34].webm

Super DRUNK Night? - FAQ Podcast

Hulk no good grammar but Hulk tell something you.

Hulk start YouTube channel, Hulk do well for first. Hulk make vlog, Minecraft Let's Play, makeup tutorial, haul vids. Hulk have fun! Hulk remember say "Like Hulk video and subscribe Hulk channel please!" 

Hulk channel grow big like Hulk. Many subscribers. Monetize good! Hulk happy, puny man Banner happy. 

Then Hulk read YouTube comments. "Hulk no speak good," they say. "Hulk yell too loud." "Hulk fingers too big for puny X-box controller." "Hulk not pretty in Lancome Hypnose mascara!" Make Hulk mascara run down Hulk green face. 

Hulk get angry. YouTube commenters no like Hulk when Hulk angry. Hulk SMASH Apple  MacBook Air! Bye-bye Intel Core i7 processors! Why no Core i5? HULK NO SKIMP ON TECHNOLOGY!

ARRRHG!

Hulk delete channel in fit of rage. Hulk delete YouTube in fit of rage - run to San Bruno, smash YouTube office. YouTube grab puny Susan Wojcicki and shake. "Why YouTube comments bad? Why make Hulk angry! Turn off comments, Wojcicki woman!!"

Hulk escorted off premises by security. Hulk no have badge - Hulk ashamed of behavior.

Now Hulk know better. Internet bad place, bad people. Hulk on Snapchat now. Much easier ignore jerks.

Script Hook V + Native Trainer v1.0.350.2a
https://www.gta5-mods.com/tools/script-hook-v
Community Script Hook V .NET
https://www.gta5-mods.com/tools/scripthookv-net
The Hulk
https://www.gta5-mods.com/player/hulk-for-babyd
The Unstoppable Force
https://www.gta5-mods.com/scripts/the-unstoppable-force
Railroad Engineer
https://www.gta5-mods.com/scripts/railroad-engineer
Nice Fly 2.5
https://www.gta5-mods.com/scripts/nice-fly

Follow us on Twitter: 
http://twitter.com/adamkovic
http://twitter.com/brucegreene
http://twitter.com/jameswillems

Tshirts n stuff: https://store.roosterteeth.com/

2015-07-09_THE_HULK_in_GTA_5_-_Mod_Gameplay_[xv70CVWMD18].description

2015-07-09_THE_HULK_in_GTA_5_-_Mod_Gameplay_[xv70CVWMD18].info.json

2015-07-09_THE_HULK_in_GTA_5_-_Mod_Gameplay_[xv70CVWMD18].jpg

2015-07-09_THE_HULK_in_GTA_5_-_Mod_Gameplay_[xv70CVWMD18].webm

THE HULK in GTA 5! - Mod Gameplay

Visit our sponsor! Squarespace's Deckmasters at http://twitch.tv/VulcunHS

"Oh, here they go again," some people on the Internet are saying to themselves while rolling their eyes. "More fu****g Destiny BS on the DestinyHaus channel. I thought these guys were supposed to play a bunch of different games and have opinions on them. Buncha sellouts."

Wow. Whoever said that is MEAN.

But kinda right. Look, we do cover some of the same games a lot - GTA, Destiny, Batman...not as much Heroes of the Storm as I'd like, but hey, we all fill our roles. 

The thing is, though, those are the games we play the most, so of course we have the most to say about them. Or the most right now; I'm sure it'll change in the future. 

But don't you talk with your friends the most about what TV or movies you're watching, or what games you're playing?

Case closed; soup is served.

Follow us on Twitter: 
http://twitter.com/adamkovic
http://twitter.com/brucegreene
http://twitter.com/jameswillems
http://twitter.com/sirlarr
http://twitter.com/harmonygrits

Tshirts n stuff: https://store.roosterteeth.com/

2015-07-08_Destiny_-_Taken_King_WORTH_IT_-_Dude_Soup_Podcast_23_[xTn58YMdVJc].description

2015-07-08_Destiny_-_Taken_King_WORTH_IT_-_Dude_Soup_Podcast_23_[xTn58YMdVJc].info.json

2015-07-08_Destiny_-_Taken_King_WORTH_IT_-_Dude_Soup_Podcast_23_[xTn58YMdVJc].jpg

2015-07-08_Destiny_-_Taken_King_WORTH_IT_-_Dude_Soup_Podcast_23_[xTn58YMdVJc].webm

Destiny: Taken King WORTH IT? - Dude Soup Podcast #23

Ask us questions here!
http://www.reddit.com/r/funhaus

I really hope you guys had a great weekend, and I'd like to apologize for not having a video yesterday. See, this weekend was the 4th of July - a national holiday here in American that celebrates the creation of our country.

Let me explain that for all you freedom-hating commies that weren't #blessed enough to be born in the Greatest Country There Has Ever Been or Ever Shall Be:

HOT DAMN! CAR SALES! FIREWORKS! HOTDOGS AND BURGERS!! GRILL THAT SHIT! GET OUTSIDE AND HAVE A PICNIC, BITCHES! HIT THE BEACH OR THE LAKE, GO SWIMMING! KILL AND EAT AN ANIMAL, PREFERABLY A COW!!! THROW SOME TEA INTO THE OCEAN, FOOLS!! MURDER A REDCOAT! GET YOU SOME LIBERTY, SNORT IT UP YOUR NOSE AND RUN THE HELL AROUND NAKED BECAUSE THE USA IS A-OK!!!

I think that pretty much sums up what we did last weekend.

Follow us on Twitter: 
http://twitter.com/adamkovic
http://twitter.com/brucegreene
http://twitter.com/jameswillems
http://twitter.com/sirlarr

Tshirts n stuff: https://store.roosterteeth.com/

2015-07-07_Our_SEX_SHOP_-_Open_Haus_21_[YwWEDLGeDYk].description

2015-07-07_Our_SEX_SHOP_-_Open_Haus_21_[YwWEDLGeDYk].info.json

2015-07-07_Our_SEX_SHOP_-_Open_Haus_21_[YwWEDLGeDYk].jpg

2015-07-07_Our_SEX_SHOP_-_Open_Haus_21_[YwWEDLGeDYk].webm

Our SEX SHOP? - Open Haus #21

Watch Robbaz be way better than us here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9kfYN2tK7U

2015-07-06_The_Sims_4_LIVE_[2dZdcGV_H6g].description

2015-07-06_The_Sims_4_LIVE_[2dZdcGV_H6g].info.json

2015-07-06_The_Sims_4_LIVE_[2dZdcGV_H6g].jpg

2015-07-06_The_Sims_4_LIVE_[2dZdcGV_H6g].webm

The Sims 4 LIVE

This is a continuation of the story begun in the description of this video (http://bit.ly/1PQUPPs) and continued here (http://bit.ly/1LYeDdD)

The Boy was in trouble. Surrounded by the Guards of Fort Hornwick, accused of being a spy, and still beholden to his goal of seeing the World. But The Boy was no spy! He was just a boy from The Mountain Village! 

He scrambled left -- the Guards moved to chase him, but tumbled and rolled beneath their legs and darted into the streets. The Captain sounded a horn, again and again; troops tumbled out of tents and wagons and tried to see the cause of this disturbance. The orderly lines of the camp erupted in chaos.

The Boy was in a panic. He didn’t know where to go, so he just kept running. He crashed against a rack of pikes and bounced into a man saddling a horse. The horse jumped back into a brazier, scalding his flank - he kicked out and sent hot coals flying onto a canvas tent, which immediately caught fire. The horse ran scared as the fire leapt from tent to tent.

“The blackpowder!” Someone screamed, and any remaining attention on The Boy was forgotten in a mad rush to the waterbuckets. 

The Boy pushed his way through the crowd and found a dark alley between stacks of barrels, watching the madness. He frantically searched for an exit from Fort Hornwick, but the palisades remained standing:  there was no way out.

In a few minutes, the Captain had organized a brigade of waterbuckets; most of the fire was contained. The Boy realized his chance was almost up, and he made a decision: he ran, searching for a place to hide. As he tore down a line of tents, a line of soldiers marched past.

“Out of the way, page!” one of the yelled, and shoved him, hard. The Boy reeled backward, falling tail-over-ankles into a tent. He shook his head to catch his bearings, and looked up.

A naked Courtesan stared at him from pallet of silks and pillows. “Well?” she asked. “Are you here to rescue me?”

If you want the boy to respond in the affirmative, type “Rescue” in the comments.

If you want The Boy to ask her for help, type “Help” in the comments.

This story will continue if One Dollar One Hour continues…

Follow us on Twitter: 
http://twitter.com/adamkovic
http://twitter.com/brucegreene
http://twitter.com/jameswillems
http://twitter.com/seanpoole

Tshirts n stuff: https://store.roosterteeth.com/

2015-07-05_SH_TTY_WEREWOLF_-_1_Dollar_1_Hour_Gameplay_[WPO5OF8RBK0].description

2015-07-05_SH_TTY_WEREWOLF_-_1_Dollar_1_Hour_Gameplay_[WPO5OF8RBK0].info.json

2015-07-05_SH_TTY_WEREWOLF_-_1_Dollar_1_Hour_Gameplay_[WPO5OF8RBK0].jpg

2015-07-05_SH_TTY_WEREWOLF_-_1_Dollar_1_Hour_Gameplay_[WPO5OF8RBK0].webm

SH*TTY WEREWOLF - 1 Dollar 1 Hour Gameplay

When first I thought to hunt a dinosaur
I crawled alone and naked on the beach,
And met a clan upon that desert shore.
We joined as one to lend our aid to each.
A home we crafted, wood and grass and thatch,
And weapons made that carefully we honed.
A stegosaur or raptor we might catch,
Or maybe die and lose the things we owned.
Adventure, thrills, and scary nights abroad
In darkened jungles wild, lush, untamed.
As ever stronger grew our makeshift squad,
More bountiful were the rewards we claimed.

And tighter still the bonds that held our group
Until, methinks, that Adam threw his poop.

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2015-07-04_KING_OF_DINOSAURS_-_ARK_-_Survival_Evolved_Gameplay_Part_2_[N6hSXkOZrXU].description

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2015-07-04_KING_OF_DINOSAURS_-_ARK_-_Survival_Evolved_Gameplay_Part_2_[N6hSXkOZrXU].webm

KING OF DINOSAURS - ARK: Survival Evolved Gameplay, Part 2

Guns? Check. Zipties? Check. Cobra mask? Check. I think we're fully prepared for this heist. We're gonna heist these stores up but good, I tells ya.

We've been training for years for this. We have the layout of the street. We know the shift schedules of all the employees, and we know what's in the vault. I have detailed architectural renderings of all the stores, which we've studied at length. We have the stealth to keep the cops off our trail; no one will get suspicious.

This is a foolproof plan. We've thought of every contingency, every possibility, every minute detail. There's no way we won't --

Goddammit, Lawrence shot someone on the street.

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2015-07-03_WORST_HEIST_EVER_-_Payday_2_Gameplay_[Lm86lqTNjAA].description

2015-07-03_WORST_HEIST_EVER_-_Payday_2_Gameplay_[Lm86lqTNjAA].info.json

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2015-07-03_WORST_HEIST_EVER_-_Payday_2_Gameplay_[Lm86lqTNjAA].webm

WORST HEIST EVER - Payday 2 Gameplay

I'm not 100% sure why this map is called Angry Birds. It really doesn't have anything to do with the Rovio game "Angry Birds" at all, which is a physics-based mobile game pitting slingshot birds vs. pigs.

This game, on the other hand, pits a bunch of high-octane, explosive-action GTA players against a group of dumb-dumbs called Funhaus. I mean, I guess the briefcase is called an "egg" but that's about the extent of it. Are there even eggs in Angry Birds? I don't think so, but I stopped playing the game like 4 years ago.

Anyway, we sucked at this map.

New Angry Birds: http://socialclub.rockstargames.com/games/gtav/jobs/job/WmEJCTrwGkKuXoAOyvP-Rw

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2015-07-02_ANGRY_BIRDS_in_GTA_5_-_GTA_5_Gameplay_[KfRxDDxU7-E].description

2015-07-02_ANGRY_BIRDS_in_GTA_5_-_GTA_5_Gameplay_[KfRxDDxU7-E].info.json

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2015-07-02_ANGRY_BIRDS_in_GTA_5_-_GTA_5_Gameplay_[KfRxDDxU7-E].webm

ANGRY BIRDS in GTA 5 - GTA 5 Gameplay

No. We're not Games Journalists. Ugh, that shouldn't even be capitalized. 

"Games journalism" makes about as much sense to us as "fishing journalism" or "model train-building journalism" or "D&D journalism"

"OOOH, the 2016 auto-cast fly reels were announced at FishCon!! But some fishers are reporting problems with the Click Drag - can we trust the rod manufacturers to respond? What are they hiding? UNCOVER THE TRUTH! CLICK DRAG-GATE: TEACH THE CONTROVERSY!!!

See how dumb it is when it's applied to anything else? It's dumb. Admit it. It's really, really dumb. And everyone gets angry 5 times a year for dumb, dumb, dumb, things.

But we love dumb.

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2015-07-01_Are_We_GAMES_JOURNALISTS_-_Dude_Soup_Podcast_22_[adZ7DSU-1Rc].description

2015-07-01_Are_We_GAMES_JOURNALISTS_-_Dude_Soup_Podcast_22_[adZ7DSU-1Rc].info.json

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2015-07-01_Are_We_GAMES_JOURNALISTS_-_Dude_Soup_Podcast_22_[adZ7DSU-1Rc].webm

Are We GAMES JOURNALISTS? - Dude Soup Podcast #22

Ask us questions here!
http://www.reddit.com/r/funhaus

Look, I know no one else on the Funhaus staff reads these descriptions, so I'm just going to use this one to issue totally unreasonable Executive Fiats.

1) From now on, this show shall be called Joel Haus. I HAVE SPOKEN
2) All questions, answers, photoshops, songs, and other intellectual property created or generated by Joel Haus are the sole property of Joel Rubin. I HAVE SPOKEN
3) Also, all cast members appearing on Joel Haus are now Joel Rubin's immediate subordinates. I HAVE SPOKEN
4) The primary purpose of Joel Haus is now to Make It Rain dolla dolla bills on or around Joel Rubin. I HAVE SPOKEN
5) Same as above, but also with babes. I HAVE SPOKEN
6) Wait, why is Adam coming over to my desk? Hey Adam, what's up?
7) Oh, nothing...just writing the descripti-- hey. HEY, get away from my keyboard.
8) STOP. ADAM. ADAM PLS PLS ADAM NO
9) SKJHKJHKH#(#*(#^#$$##^&@&^
10) 
11) 
12) Open Haus will be resuming next week. ADAM HAS SPOKEN

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2015-06-30_We_Are_CRIMINALS_-_Open_Haus_20_[yBey3YWVnAo].description

2015-06-30_We_Are_CRIMINALS_-_Open_Haus_20_[yBey3YWVnAo].info.json

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2015-06-30_We_Are_CRIMINALS_-_Open_Haus_20_[yBey3YWVnAo].webm

We Are CRIMINALS? - Open Haus #20

D! stands for Demo, the word before Disk
E! stands for Edgy, breaking is a risk
M! stands for Meningitis, I hope we do not get
O! stands for Ortho, for orthopedisist!

D! stands for Demo, the word before Disk
I! stands for Interesting - these games never is
S! stands for Sucky, these games actually is
K! stands for gosh I wanna give Bruce a Kiss!

What's that spell? 
We can't spell!
What's that spell?
What's that smell?
It's DEMO DISK!
It's DEMO DISK!

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2015-06-29_FROM_HITLER_WITH_LOVE_-_Demo_Disk_Gameplay_[y9vahhz2F5A].description

2015-06-29_FROM_HITLER_WITH_LOVE_-_Demo_Disk_Gameplay_[y9vahhz2F5A].en.vtt

2015-06-29_FROM_HITLER_WITH_LOVE_-_Demo_Disk_Gameplay_[y9vahhz2F5A].info.json

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2015-06-29_FROM_HITLER_WITH_LOVE_-_Demo_Disk_Gameplay_[y9vahhz2F5A].webm

FROM HITLER WITH LOVE - Demo Disk Gameplay

The people have spoken: we're making the FAQ Podacast a PERMANENT part of our lineup! 

But really, is there anything permanent in this world? Lives are only so long, and our homes will outlast all of us. But eventually even building crumble, and are town down and replaced.

Cities change - they grow, or shrink and die, or are conquered and ground into the dust. "What about the land," you ask? Mountains erode into the sea; rivers change their course. The earth and its moon, and the sun itself will eventually die.

I guess what I'm saying is that the FAQ Podcast is here for now - much like your dog, or your parents, or that cup of coffee you're drinking. But sooner than you think, the universe will devolve into entropy. 

And truly that will be permanent. 

Maybe.

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2015-06-28_Batman_-_Arkham_Knight_BROKEN_-_FAQ_Podcast_[3r-VTNyuNYA].description

2015-06-28_Batman_-_Arkham_Knight_BROKEN_-_FAQ_Podcast_[3r-VTNyuNYA].info.json

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2015-06-28_Batman_-_Arkham_Knight_BROKEN_-_FAQ_Podcast_[3r-VTNyuNYA].webm

Batman: Arkham Knight BROKEN? - FAQ Podcast